When I look back on what the dating world was like in my early 20 s, I usually have the same reaction. I shake my head. I roll my eyes. I attain some sort of choke noise, like Im about to dry-heave. Or I only do all three at the exact same time.
Its not that looking back on that time totally abhorrences me. It actually wasnt bad at all. My dating experiences were fun and light, and there was always a sense of let it be or whatever happens happens because thats just how life runs for young and resilient 20 -somethings.
But of course I maintain thinking about it overanalyzing like love-hungry girls do and trying to make sense of it. So what was it exactly that stimulates the dating scene of your early 20 s seem so much better than your late 20 s?
When your whole squad is single, its like Sexuality and the City. Brunches, dinners, cocktails, dancing at the club its only you and your girls sharing narratives, laughing about guys, giving advice and letting them text for you when you dont know what to say.
Youre all in it together! And its fun that way. So when youre out and about, your squad is a force-out with endless possibilities of what might happen, like satisfying a group of dude friends and then going out on a massive date all together.
But at the same day, if nothing at all happens, you at least have your girls to group text, drink bottomless mimosas with and laugh about the single life.
But, when youre in your late 20 s, less and less of your friends will still be single. Theyre either severely dating person or engaged( or even worse, married ), and there you are, still dating, still single.
And instead of celebrating singledom with your friends, youre now ordering pizza alone, drinking alone at the bar, stalking everyones glamorous bae and me selfies and feeling like a total loser.
2. Youre More Willing To Date All Types Of Guys.
You went through college dating a certain type of guy because thats all you thought you liked, and now you realise how stupid it is to limit yourself when there are so many different options out there.
Exploring is the best part. And since youre still amidst your sexual discovery and are likely horny like all the time, you want to mingle with as many dudes as is practicable and celebrate this time of your life.
Thats when that outlook of what happens happens comes into play. As long as youre having fun and mixing up your dating pool, what is there to lose?
But, when youre in your late 20 s, youre far less interested in continuing to exam out the waters. Youve been there, said and done( a few days, likely ). And now you know exactly what kind of guy youre looking for. You wont wishes to garbage your time if they dont fit the mold.
3. There Are Less Deal-Breakers
Youre just so happy to be on a date. It doesnt matter where he took you. It doesnt truly matter what hes wearing, how he speaks, what he ordered. It doesnt even matter that he let you divided the check.
Youre kind of oblivious to people oddities when youre younger, which, believe me, is a trait you want to hold on to. And youre also trying to make a good first impression, so half the things hes doing youre not even realizing.
He only has a nice smile. Was that his foot against yours under the table? Its all kind of dreamy. And his body is crazy.
But, when youre in your late 20 s, one wrong move and hes done with. If he doesnt pay for dinner, goodbye. If he slurps his soup, see ya.
And if he wore an old baseball tee-shirt with paint on it to a nice restaurant, peace. Youre too old now to deal with clueless guys like this. You want a human a real man and if he doesnt know how to act, youd honestly instead be alone.
4. Theres No Pressure About The Future.
The last thing on your mind when youre in your early 20 s is marriage and newborns.( Lets hope .) All you care about is the fun stuff, which is exactly what this time should be all about.
So, when youre dating, its all about the conversation and flirting and hoping that at the end of the date youll perhaps get a little kiss along with him telling, I really like you. Lets do this again, sometime.
Score! Thats all you wanted!
Thats the best scenario, ever! And then you can go home all googly-eyed and blush and feel like you might explosion until he texts you next.
But, when youre in your late 20 s, the pressure of the next step is unfortunately truly heavy. If you dont see this guy as a potential forever person, why are you going to go about garbage your time?
You might not be ready to get hitched any time soon, but the older you get, the more this idea heartbeats in your head. Is this guy person you could actually see yourself getting serious with? Is he husband material? Does he want children? These are the questions that beset your mind, regrettably. Because youre not 22 anymore.
5. If It Doesnt Work Out, Its Not a Big Deal.
If the date was bad, oh well. Therell be another soon. And if the chemistry only wasnt there, it only wasnt there. Oh well. Shit happens. It isnt a big deal. But this stuff will never transgress you.
This is what dating is all about. Sometimes its good, sometimes its bad and if its neither of those things, then you go out with your girlfriends and get drunk and forget all about it.
Again, theres no pressure. Let it be. There are guys everywhere, anyway. Youre bound to find another one at any devoted second.
But, when youre in your late 20 s, it feels like you dont have day for bad dates or missing chemistry. And it is a big deal because every time this happens you cant help but to feel so discouraged.
This Girl Explains The Hardships Of Dating In The Social Media Age
When will your next great date be then? Where is he? What if you end up single eternally? The frenzied topics start happening. And because the pickings feel especially slim these days, instead of running about dating organically, youre going to be on the hunt, trying so hard to attain things happen.
And if it doesnt, thats when you start to psyche yourself out even more, because day is running out! Being single sucks! Fuck dating! Where is he ?!
Sigh. Oh, dating. What a mind-fuck.
Are in favour of Elite Daily’s official newsletter, The Edge, for more narratives you don’t want to miss .